Cody Ceci Named Skills Coach of Tucson Rock Lobsters Youth Program

TUCSON, AZ — The Tucson Rock Lobsters have added more NHL star power to their suddenly outrageous coaching staff, announcing that Edmonton Oilers defenseman Cody Ceci has officially joined as the organization’s new skills coach.

While some wondered if Ceci was the right fit for teaching children the finer points of puck control, team officials said the hire made perfect sense. “Cody brings a unique skill set,” said Rock Lobsters GM (and part-time Zamboni driver) Jeff Sanders. “Specifically, the ability to wind up for a slapshot so terrifyingly unpredictable that it could end up in the net, in the parking lot, or somewhere near Phoenix. That kind of chaos really keeps goalies on their toes.”

At his introductory practice, Ceci wasted no time unveiling his trademark booming shot to the U10 squad. The puck sailed wide, ricocheted off the boards, and reportedly knocked the juice box out of a parent’s hand in the bleachers. The kids erupted in cheers.

“That’s what it’s all about,” Ceci said afterward, grinning. “Sure, maybe the puck doesn’t always hit the net. Or the glass. Or stay in the rink. But it teaches the kids an important lesson: always expect the unexpected. Also, maybe wear a helmet on the bench.”

Parents expressed mixed emotions about the hire. “I love that he’s showing my daughter how to follow through on her slapshot,” one mom said. “I just wish he’d stop using the words ‘duck’ and ‘incoming’ quite so much.”

Ceci insists his role goes beyond just shooting. “We’re working on passing, skating, and, yeah, how to avoid being struck by one of my shots. Honestly, that last one’s a life skill.”

The Rock Lobsters now boast perhaps the most star-studded youth coaching staff in the country, though rumor has it Ceci’s first official rule change will be to install protective netting around the snack bar before next weekend’s home games.